Divorce. Business collapse. Suicidal thoughts. That’s when my real life began. The emotions that I numbed from the childhood abuse I experienced at the hands of a violent alcoholic father. Left alone to cope with the sudden death of my grandmother, when I was 12. And the emotional abuse of a society that relentlessly told me I was worthless. What are you? You and your parents should be ashamed. No half breed child should be raised by a white mother, and black father, you should be taken away from them for the sin of their interracial union. Those words uttered without subtlety.

To say I was angry was an understatement. What I felt was rage. Rage at God, Society and The constant feeling of not being worthy to be alive, unwanted by society, fitting in nowhere. Rage that I followed the rules, did what I was supposed to do, and still could not fill this hole in my heart. All of the pain came to a head when the thoughts of driving my car head on into an 18 wheeled truck with my daughter asleep in the back seat.

I went back to school, TO USM for a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology. And I did the work. I painstakingly peeled one layer at a time, doing my inner work. Facing every painful emotion I had stuffed with food, numbed with alcohol, bypassed with monetary rewards and physical accolades. I followed that up with more work as I cared for my mom the year prior to her death. Acknowledging and questioning every uncomfortable feeling I had, reconciling every painful belief about myself and my life.

The story of the poor little ‘zebra’ girl that had to choose a side to feel accepted, to feel safe, to survive. The story of a biracial little girl who made herself invisible to not stand out, to not speak up, to not feel her pain so she wouldn’t have to feel her own hearts wants and desires, fearing they would not be allowed from a society that told her she was worthless. The deeper I went into my heart, the more I realized this Zebra girl was special.

Then it began to click. Answers started to come to me. All of the pain My whole life, I believed I had to choose one side. My internal conflict believing I had to choose to be black or white, Instead of black and white. Then the realization of every duality I erroneously misinterpreted to mean, I had to choose one side. Because somehow, allowing both sides to exist was unacceptable to a society that wanted me to choose the side IT most wanted and felt comfortable with.

My life changed. I value every paradox, conflict, duality in me, knowing I don’t need to choose a side. I Value and Love both sides. I feel a profound integrity in my heart giving each side of me its equal value. Every paradox is the truth of who I am.

What is Your Soul Aching For?

An invitation to Align your physical, emotional, chemical, mental & spiritual health tenants for whole body health.

Unburden your aching soul. Transform your body, relationships, career and your finances with the freedom & sovereignty of an untamed heart.

It is my intention to have a place dedicated to the ways the hole in our heart, the ache in our soul, lures us into addictive life patterns, bad behaviors and unhealthy habits. With the intention to teach how to align the 5 tenants of health; PCEM & S, to experience freedom and sovereignty in their body, relationships, career and finance.

Many of us have harmed ourselves and others with our bad behaviors, addictive habits and unhealthy patterns trying to fill the hole in our hearts, the ache in our soul.